Trouble with Tanner

Tanner, Tanner, Tanner. For so long he was my little dream child. It took us many years to add another child to our family and he was all the more precious to me because of the wait. He was my easiest baby and I was so thrilled when he hit the terrible twos and he wasn't so terrible after all. I remember thinking, "Wow, a 2-year-old who doesn't throw tantrums, how lucky is that?" Well....times are changing.

He has now hit the terrible threes and he is obstinate, head-strong, whiny, demanding, and so on. He had a melt-down at Staples today while I was waiting for things to be laminated (I must say the clerk took forever!). Tanner was tired of sitting in the cart and he desperately wanted to get out. I had already tried giving him freedom in the store but he wouldn't stay by me, he kept pulling things off the shelf, asking me to buy stuff, you know how it is. I put him back in the cart and would have strapped him in but the belt strap was broken. I was having a bit of a wrestling match with him trying to keep him in the seat as he was trying to climb out while screaming "I want to get out" and I was gritting my teeth and trying not to scream as I pushed him back in and said, "You need to stay in the cart." Everyone in the store was looking my way with disapproving eyes and all I could think was..."Please get those things laminated so I can get out of here!" The whole scene probably took less than 5 minutes but 5-minutes of meltdown behavior in public feels like 5 hours. We finally made it out without anyone getting hurt.

In the evening, I started my new calling as an Activity Days leader and I had to take Tanner along since Jason was working late. In the past, Tanner was the kind of child I could take along to things and he would sit quietly in the corner playing with his own stuff. Not tonight. He kept running across the room and trying to climb the stacked chairs while I was trying to have a discussion with the girls. I kept asking him to behave but he wouldn't. I thought "I'm never bringing him again, I'll get a babysitter next time, I've only got 15 more minutes to get through tonight.." As this thought was in my head, I saw him reaching for the fire alarm. "No!" I cried as I ran toward him. Too late. A REALLY LOUD alarm started filling the building, lights started flashing and people started evacuating. I couldn't believe it! What a perfect ending to Tanner's day of trouble-making!

This was a pull-my-hair-out kind of day with Tanner and yet, the day ended similar to the way every day ends in the book I'll Love You Forever. I love the way that book captures the essence of a mother's love for her child, regardless of that child's behavior. In the story, a growing boy drives his mom crazy throughout the day but she goes to his room every night to cuddle with him, sing to him, and tell him she'll love him forever. As I held my little Tanner in my arms at bedtime and sang to him, and hugged him, I thought about how much I love him. I couldn't blame him for not wanting to sit in a hard, uncomfortable cart for 45 minutes. I couldn't blame him for pulling that tempting, shiny, red handle at church. He didn't know the havoc it would cause. And so, to my little troublesome Tanner:

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."