Panic Passed

I had a hard morning. I woke up feeling worried because I hadn’t noticed the baby moving all night. Of course, I had been sleeping off and on so I figured I just hadn’t noticed it but I wanted to make sure. I decided to count kicks. 15 minutes went by…nothing. I got up and ate something sweet and tried again. Another 15 minutes…nothing. I started to panic a little but tried to keep it under control. I took a bath…nothing. After a full hour had gone by, I was sure it was all over. The rest of the family was still sleeping so I called the doctor and he told me to go to the hospital. Jason woke up when he heard me crying. His mom met us at the hospital to take the kids and we went in. I can’t describe all the things that went through my mind on the way there. I know God doesn’t give us more than we can handle but I was wondering HOW I was going to handle this. I was sure the worst had happened. I tried to think about the 3 beautiful children I already have, but I was a basket-case regardless.

I got in and they hooked me up to the monitors. EVERYTHING WAS FINE. The baby’s heart was beating strong and he was moving around. I felt such relief, such gratitude. I also felt silly for being so worried but I didn’t know how else to feel. I constantly feel this baby move around so it really scared me when I couldn’t feel anything. Maybe I was just too scared to feel it; I don’t know. The nurses were very understanding and they told me it was right to come in. I’m just not sure what I’ll do if this happens again. I would really like to have the baby sooner rather than later so I can stop worrying but I still have 3 weeks to go. I hope I can make it without too many more panic attacks.